Don't Mess With Old People!

How to call the cops when you're old and don't move fast anymore. Walter was going up to bed one night when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed. He opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw there were people in the shed. Walter phoned the police who asked "Is someone in your house?" He said, "No but thieves are breaking into my garden shed stealing things"! Then the police 911 dispatcher said, "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available." Walter said, "Okay." He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned the police again. "Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were thieves stealing things from my shed. 

Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot and killed them both and the dogs are dragging their bodies away" he hung up. Within five minutes a Police Helicopter, six Police Cars, two Fire Trucks, a Local News Truck, an Ambulance and two lawyers from the ACLU showed up at Walter's residence and caught the burglars red-handed. One of the Policemen said to Walter, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!" Walter said, "I thought you said there was nobody available"! My neighbor said she's going to use Walter's trick the next time she needs the police to respond quickly. Last Friday night a drunk driver narrowly missed running over some kids and hit two parked cars right on our nice street. 

It took the police well over 20 minutes to show up and some of our neighbors were complaining about the slow response time. I'm not sure if 20 minutes response time is slow or not? I guess because it was Friday night the police were busy with higher priority 911 calls... who knows? Have you ever had to call your local police for help? How was their response time? I have the highest respect for law enforcement officers and think that most of them do a fantastic job serving and protecting our citizens. I'm not sure why but "the media" doesn't see it the way I do. They seem to be on the side of the crook more often than the cop? Don't mess with old people is reported to be a true story? Even if it isn't I still like it!

H&M Light Purple

I sincerely hope everyone had a lovely Valentine's Day. I spent the day indulging myself with tea, pain au chocolat and painting my nails in a proper Valentine fashion. This time my choice ended up being H&M's Light Purple, one of their smaller nail polishes. And since it was Valentine's Day I added a cute little accent heart! I must say I would rather have called this colour pink, instead of Light Purple. It doesn't really have that much purple in it, perhaps in a certain light. It is pretty nonetheless! I haven't been wearing that much pink lately, so it was nice for a change. When it comes to the application, I had no problem whatsoever. H&M usually makes wonderful nail polish and it goes on extremely well. However, with these smaller bottles there is one not so very good thing about them....they chip easily. After just one day I had one chip, so the quality isn't the best on these smaller bottles compared to the regular sized ones. Next up will be a more elaborative manicure that I did before wearing this one. I've got a busy life at the moment, so it takes a while before I get into a good pattern of blogging again. But have no fear :)

Setting

I love a great setting. Whether it's for the entire book or just a scene setting can make or break a story for me. In high school I gave up on Bronte, Austen, Dickens and company. I still don't read them. All because of setting that for me was overdone. I know most of my friends online and off love these books. I respect that. Please give me the same courtesy. It must have been the way it was done then because they all did it. Told me about every nook and cranny, flower and weed. Reading that someone lives in a cold, dreary run-down castle or cottage, I get it. I can picture that surrounded by an overrun, unattended garden. And unless there's a body or a fortune behind those cracks don't tell me about them every time a character enters the room.

In the past two weeks I've only read two books. (I don't read much in summer.) Both these works had gardens so I'll use hat example. Each was handled differently. In the first, the garden housed certain insects important to the plot. The original picture painted with words was a museum piece in my mind. Then it all changed. Every time the insect was presented it came with a repeat description of the blooms in the garden. Imho there's only two reasons for these repetitions, word count or underestimating the reader. Either way, I stopped reading half way through, giving it more time than I normally would. 

The physical garden could have been left out without changing the plot or the metaphor of life. The second garden is in a work yet to be published. It's a beautiful garden, in my mind's eye. I see it now as I write this. The garden was painted in detail only once. Afterwards small details were mentioned here or there. It doesn't matter because I know that garden. I feel it. No matter what takes place in that garden I will know where to place the action.  It's my garden. The author gave it to my mind, my imagination. Giving me the garden, the battle, the murder that's setting. Do your readers move within your setting or do you force them to see it from the sidelines?

Tuesday's Start

It was one of those nights. I feel asleep on the couch watching a DVD and woke to the silence of a black empty screen. I remember, vaguely, making my way to the bedroom hoping  to miss stubbing my toe on a yet unpacked box. I must have made it. I woke this morning to the sun fighting the clouds for space in the sky in a bed barely rumpled. The day is looking good. When I dozed off the temperature was mid 70s. This morning it's struggling to get to 60. A bit of a chill with all the windows up and a swift breeze flowing. As the coffee brews and I move to close the windows the sun loses its battle. Proving again, no matter how big or how hot we are, we all have times of weakness. It's raining now. One of the soft, straight down late spring showers that is lovely as long as you're not in them getting drenched. Since I'm not Fred Astaire and singing in the rain would only be a way to be arrested my plan to explore the downtown art district will have to change. Luckily I still have boxes to unpack. There seems no end to my indoor fun!

This Long Month

I'm back. It's been a long month, a very long month. A month filled with work, moving and graduation. The first two were nowhere near as fantastic as the last! Even though I haven't posted I have been writing. And reading. More and more I am leaning toward the essay. It's what I've always love writing, even those that were mandatory in school. I've always felt if you are going to write it you better study it. With what little extra time I've had I've been reading essays.

Like any other genre, some are better than others. Some were from authors unknown to me. Others are referred to as Masters of the Form. I share this with you. I was very lucky in the unknowns whose anthologies I purchased. Some of the so called "Masters" left me happy that the book belonged to the library collection and not to me. Erma Bombeck is still at the top of my list. I began reading her in junior high and her works still hit the mark.

Now I recognize several generations and still laugh out loud. In my late teens Truman Capote was a great fascination for me and for a lot of the world. Right now I'm reading Portraits and Observations: The Essays of Truman Capote. It will be hard to work on other things as I am captivated with the work. Anyway that's what I've been up to, living the life called family that always takes precedence over anything. I'll be getting back to work now and begin stopping by to visit old friends and new. I have promised myself I will complete the A to Z list before august!